The Resistance

04: Chapter from the novel "In The Wake Of Chaos"

[This is Chapter 4 of my novel, “In The Wake Of Chaos.” I encourage you to go back and read the previous chapters already posted first in order to get the full richness of this magical story.]

“will the madness ever stop?”

Being entirely honest, I too need to wake up. During the past months I’ve not been willing to see what’s going on within my own world. Just like many others who’ve fallen in the same trap. I love my job and consider myself lucky. Hell, I even have the privilege of working for a reputable, history-laden newspaper, so all is good, right?

Well, it would be if it wasn’t for my sometimes neurotic and slave-driving boss. I am so not in alignment with who he is. But, that’s nothing new. Many aren’t thrilled with their superiors and don’t like their jobs. Get a grip girl and be more grateful for getting paid well to do what you do.

It could be worse. At least you love your work.

“What a little spoiled brat!”

Yep, that’s what the little voice in my head often says.

It reminds me of the t-shirt my parents gave me one birthday back in high school. It was custom-made. On the front it said “Spoiled,” and on the back it said, “Brat.”

I loved that shirt because it was so true. Not that we were flush with a bunch of money. We weren’t. My parents worked hard to provide what they could for our family.

Yet, I never felt we didn’t have enough.

I had a great life.

Again, my dad was an ironworker by trade, and to pay all the bills, my mom worked as well. They did this to make sure we had everything we needed. And so my mom could take me out for birthday clothes and shopping sprees.

Not to be outdone, my dad also splurged by getting us a pool, as well as a horse so my brother and I could go riding as kids. Of course, we begged him and all, and promised to clean the pool and shovel horse poop each day. Broken promises that only lasted about a week or two both times.

So, yes. I was spoiled to a certain extent.

I own that.

And yet, this is different than that.

My boss is borderline creep. Okay, I lied earlier. He’s been relentless since I began working for him, trying to get me to think of him as more than just my boss, assuming I’ll just play along. This reminds me of another time a man suggested more and tried to take advantage of me.

It was one of my first jobs.

At just 16-years-old, I had bought my first car with the money I got from selling my beloved horse. But as I learned very quickly, a car doesn’t go very far if you don’t put any gas in the tank. So, a job it was if I wanted to keep my wheels on the road and my independence alive.

It just so happened that some of my friends began working for the father of my boyfriend’s best friend. I know it sounds complicated but stay with me—it gets worse.

So, this dad hires me as well.

We were ticket-takers and did crowd control for major sporting events and concerts on an as needed basis.

It was an awesome job for someone my age. I was paid way more than minimum wage, worked with my friends, and got to go backstage about an hour after the concerts began and hung out with the roadies and other groupies.

Life was good.

That was until I was asked to stop by my bosses’ house after school to pick up my paycheck. He greeted me at his door in his bathrobe—barely tied. This is midday no less. He asked me to come in, all smiles and inviting. I said no.

Undeterred, he walked me back to my car, then gave me my paycheck. As I opened the driver side door to get away as fast as I could, he casually let his robe fall open to reveal the family jewels. At least that’s what he thought of them.

Something was protecting me that day.

Angels watch over me.

Even though I was shocked and slightly scarred by what I’d literally been exposed to, thankfully I got away untouched. He didn’t force himself upon me. He just tried to use his good looks and stature to entice me into his bed.

But, holy hell.

I was only sixteen. Isn’t that the age we joke about as being too young to be kissed? At least that’s what the old kiddie-rhyme thing says.

“Sweet sixteen and never been kissed.”

Later that year, I heard rumors that this same married man had a secret affair with a senior cheerleader at my high school. She supposedly ended up getting pregnant and had to have an abortion after that.

Holy smokes!

With that news, I consider myself very, very lucky not to have gone down that very same road.

The nerve of this guy. And, he knew full well that my boyfriend was his son’s best friend. What the heck?

Is nothing sacred anymore?

Was it ever?

This also reminds me of our “grab them by the pussy” commander in chief. The nerve of these men who use their power and position to get what they want.

No thank you.

No more.

Gotta admit, I never told anyone about that story until the whole #MeToo thing came around. Seems it’s finally time for women to have their voices heard.

Yes, finally.

Speaking of the #MeToo movement, it’s guys like that Supreme Court nominee, Brett Kavanagh, who get under my skin. For way too long, men have been allowed to behave in these dominating ways and get away with it. Sure, the pendulum may have swung too far, and some innocent men are getting drug through the mud.

I’m not blind. I can see this.

But, when it comes to vetting the character of a man who is up for a lifetime appointment to the highest court in the country, there should be no stone unturned. They should represent being exemplary pillars of our communities.

In fact, of all humanity.

At those senate hearings, I was pleasantly surprised to see a smart and determined young senator, Kamala Harris, question him with no fear, and a determination to not let him off the hook. That took courage and strength.

My hat’s off to her.

Fun fact: rumor has it, Kamala sat on the couch and ate a family-sized bag of nacho Doritos by herself and in utter shock and disbelief the night Trump won the election.

A girl after my own heart.

Unfortunately, the pendulum of truth has not yet swung far enough, because these bad-behaving men were still able to push Kavanaugh’s appointment through.

My heart goes out to the courageous and brave woman, Christine Blassey, who risked her career and reputation to do what she felt was her duty to do.

And that was to tell her truth.

It saddens me that many wouldn’t listen with a more open mind to what she had to say. If they had, if they’d truly opened their hearts to hear this woman, they could not, would not, have allowed this man to serve on the bench.

This is why power and politics often leaves a bad taste in one’s mouth. Maybe that is what makes me more wary and awake than others. I’ve been privy to what occurs “off the record” while at the same time trying to expose the shady underbelly of our current events.

I’ve seen the dark side of society.

I know better.

That’s why I can’t keep looking the other way in terms of my boss Larry’s behavior. Yes, I’m better equipped to deflect his unsolicited passes and might not be as naïve as I was at the tender age of sixteen. But enough is enough.

Where have I heard that before?

Oh, yah.

The resistance.

The sleeping giant is now awake, and we will resist the powers that be who try to silence our voices—or attempt to snuff out what’s near and dear to our hearts.

Yes, the “resistance movement” has officially begun.

I’m sure many will complain that it’s just the liberal snowflakes getting in the way to block all possible progress. It’s the lefties who are the ones to resist everything, so nothing ever gets done.

Yah, right.

That’s just the current flavor of the month. Anyone up for a scoop of Baskin & Robbins ice cream?

Don’t tempt me.

Instead, let’s remember just how resistant the “right” became once Obama got elected. They threw everything they had his way to prevent any attempts towards making progress. They tried to block everything and anything, and even made up some stupid “birther” conspiracy theory about him. Just to have something more to bitch about.

Oh yah, who started that “fake news” lie anyway? Yep, good ol’ Donnie boy. How does anybody not put two and two together? It’s all so obvious to me.

But who knows? Maybe it’s me who is being fooled. Maybe Obama was the enemy who needed to be defeated. Maybe he was secretly a Muslim and I should be afraid of him, Michelle and their two girls.

Maybe…

No.

I don’t think so.

And, speaking of fools, I need to finally address my personal work situation and meet it head on.

You guessed it.

Time again to call Mom.

Funny, it wasn’t until this #MeToo movement popped up where she and I were able to discuss things like sexual harassment at work. We spent hours talking about this on the phone one night, just after the whole Harvey Weinstein sleazebag story broke.

Mom admitted she too had been victimized on occasion by similar things in the workplace—but only ventured into a conversation like this after I’d brought up my high school experience to her first.

The secrets we keep hidden.

So, I knew it was time to give Mom a call once again. She answered on the second ring, “Maddie, are you okay?”

“Of course, Mom. I’m fine.”

“But now that you mention it, I do have to resolve my situation with Mr. Nelson.”

I went ahead and told her the misgivings I held about my ego-centric boss, and the misogynistic interactions with him since my first day on the job.

Yes. He was handsome. Yes, he was successful and doing very well financially speaking. Yes, life could be worse than having a highly eligible bachelor trying to get my attention. But…“he's just not my type, Mom.”

And to be quite honest, I can’t see having kids with a jerk like that. It’s always about him. What he’s done. Who he knows. How he is the expert at everything. Besides, guys like that aren’t usually the ones capable of committing on a deeper emotional level. Most likely he’d never be satisfied settling down into a long-term relationship commitment.

So what’s the point?

Nope.

No way.

He’s not for me.

After getting it all off my chest, Mom commiserated with me and told me I always knew what was best for me, and that she trusted my judgment. Always did, always will.

What I needed to do next was tell Larry.

I quit. I’m done.

Very grateful for the opportunity he provided me with, but I’m thinking my sanity needs a change of scenery. The fast pace of politics doesn’t seem to suit my life right now.

No point letting him know the truth—that he is a complete asshole to work for, and I’m tired of deflecting his not-so-subtle passes at every turn or chance encounter.

Life’s too short.

Now, what did Robin Williams tell his students in the movie classic, Dead Poets Society?

Carpe diem.

Again, it’s my favorite saying. “Seize the day,” which is what carpe diem literally means. And that’s what I intend to do now. It’s time for me to look for new opportunities in my life—and to make the most of them.

Not that I haven’t already done this, but in my heart, I know it’s time to move on from this job.

Enough is enough, right?

Speaking of moving on, immediately after the election, the MoveOn organization has been a pillar of strength for me—and has shown just how ordinary people’s voices really can, and do, make a difference.

Remember hearing Al Franken, the comedian turned Senator, talk about the storm he felt coming and being worried about that? He said we were just 93 days into the Trump presidency, but fortunately, we were also 93 days into a powerful resistance movement.

I like Franken.

He tells it like it is.

Al says up until now, we've been doing surprisingly well stalling Trump's agenda. But the thing is, he's just getting started, so we can't let up for a second. There are so many more fights to come. Stopping Trump's tax breaks for his rich friends. Standing up to Jeff Sessions' deportation force. Resisting attacks on Medicare and the environment.

The list is getting longer by the day.

I get exhausted just thinking about this.

Again, no rest for the weary.

Just think, there’s still a year and a half before we even have a shot at taking back Congress. Besides, most of us on the left, liberals, and moderates alike still seem to be grieving the election results in our own way. Shock, denial, anger, and depression—each stage is very important to the healing process. But in actual this case, the final stage of grief isn't acceptance, it's organizing.

And now, it’s officially coined “The Resistance.”

Donald Trump plans to govern by chaos. He wants us to get tired and slow down, but we can't let that happen. Remember, Trump did pledge to disrupt the system.

True, and he's certainly keeping that promise.

I see it as the rise, and hopefully the fall, of hate, bigotry, and injustice. Highlight the worst of mankind, then usher in a new society where “Love trumps hate.”

That’s what is at stake here.

That’s what is possible.

Yet, I find myself somewhat reluctant as I witness this massive shift where old structures crumble down and a shift in human evolution appears to usher in a new existence, where one behaves and operates at a higher level.

Yay! I should be ecstatic.

But does it need to be so chaotic?

It appears so.

I’m hoping the best in us rises to the occasion.

And, sooner than later.

What I’d love to see is the United States be the leader in this kind of movement, and for us to no longer act just as a military or economic powerhouse, but one of integrity and compassion. I’d love to lead by changing our perspectives, and through a collaborative, higher level of empathy, to not only change the world, but to also save this planet.

That’s my vision for our future.

Sometimes I feel the painful memories of centuries past, deep and at the cellular level of my being. I also feel it’s time to cleanse and heal these wounds—and that it’s time to embrace and embark upon a new beginning for us as individuals—and all of us as a collective whole.

“The Resistance.” It’s time to rise and shine. It’s time to experience the much anticipated “second coming” not in a way we might think, but instead through each of us being open to seeing change unfold through us as individuals and communities—and having a willingness to be changed by love through the process.

Moment by moment.

One person at a time.

Wait a minute.

Am I dreaming?

I’ve got to find a way to reduce my stress or else I’m fully at the risk of sounding delusional, don’t you think? It’s probably time for me to step off my pedestal.

Ya think?

And yet, we’re living at a pivotal moment in American history. Our country will either move in the direction of an authoritarian government, where the rich get richer and everyone else gets poorer. Or we will successfully fight back and build a strong grassroots movement to create a government which represents all of us—and not just the Trump family and their billionaire friends.

This is the struggle we now face. No one can sit on the sidelines. Not now. The only way we win is when together we stand and fight back.

Wait another minute. I think maybe that last part is actually from a Bernie Sanders speech. Hell, I really need to take some time off.

What was that about a yoga class?

Maybe I’ll sign up for one later this week.

The good news is the resistance movement towards this extremist agenda is growing rapidly. We saw this firsthand as millions participated worldwide in the Women's March protest. We also saw it play out as hundreds of thousands attended rallies and town meetings the following February and March. This is how we successfully defeated their efforts to repeal the Affordable Care Act and throw 24 million Americans off their health insurance plans.

We’re now seeing it again now, as people across the country mobilize for Green Day events to take on the fossil fuel industry, combat climate change, and transform our energy systems to greater efficiency and sustainability.

It is amazing to witness the power generated when we come together for a common cause—and for the good of all people. That’s what I hold onto in times like these.

Tomorrow I’ll give my notice. Both at work and with my landlord. Then, I’m off to yoga and the need to chill out for a bit. My nervous system is fried, so for self-preservation, I must do what I need to do to regain my sanity.

And nurse my soul back to health.

“At the deepest core of our being is pure love. When we connect to this, something deeper emerges and then rises above the illusions of all other energies that are not of this world. We begin to see each other for who we really are, and all of nature around us for the beauty that it beholds.”

- said by the wise sage with the women in the cave

[Continue reading Maddie’s complete story “In The Wake Of Chaos” as each chapter is released…see the “Previous” & “Next” tabs right under the Like/Share bubbles below]